Ok, all right, I'm getting the hang of this campaign crap. Basically, what the running parties have to offer has nothing to do with anything. So if we're all going to think Sarah Palin is so great, let me just say that I would be an even BETTER vice president than her for these reasons:
1. Palin knows all about foreign diplomacy and issues because she lives in Alaska, which we all know is the closest part of the United States to Russia. Damn, that is some serious stuff there, that's tough to beat. But I lived in Finland for FIVE YEARS and (if you're a McCain/Palin supporter you probably DON'T know this geography) Finland is on the border of Russia. Finland touches Russia!! Which means I was even closer than Sarah to Russia, which means I know everything there is to possibly know about those people, and their politics, and their society, and their infrastructure, and their religions, and their culture, and their military, etc. Ooh, ooh, PLUS I have actually been to Russia, yes, its true, when I was about five years old, there are pictures to prove it. It can not be questioned; I am a foreign policy expert (and isn't the logic that if I know about Russia, then I know all about all other countries everywhere?).
2. I wear glasses.
3. My hair is short and hip and with the times. Sarah's always got her hair in an old-fashioned up-do. Gotta get with the younger generation, Sarah.
4. I don't hunt, but I do kill flies.
5. I can tell jokes too. What's the difference between a Christian Fundamentalist and a complete and total psycho? Publicity!
I think I've proved my point. Come November, vote Prince.
2 comments:
you've actually been to Russia?!?! how can I know you're not in cahoots with Putin?
and someone has to say it, but your frequent international travels are suspicious. What do you need to leave for? Don't you love America?
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna need some convincing to vote Prince over Palin.
Genius, you've sold me - I'm voting Prince! I was actually going to put myself forward for election in the UK years ago. I even had a slogan - 'Vote Hillebrandt, better policies for longer drinking hours.......'. Unfortunately now that we have 24 hour drinking that one's redundant - I'll need to think of a new one........
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