I have a clinical internship this year, and one of the things I've been doing every week is group therapy for 8-10 year olds. Its supposed to focus on communcation skills.
I'm pretty new to the role of teacher type person slash...someone who is ever around children at all, so I've been getting a kick out of a lot of the stuff they say. A lot of the funniest stuff is not relatable with the written word, but this week I think we got one that I can pass on.
We've spent the last several weeks discussing how to share and how to all come to an agreement about things as a group and, about a month ago, we even introduced the word "compromise."
I thought my co-therapist was jumping the gun on that word, they are pretty young, but after a couple weeks they were using that word left and right without our prompting and it seemed like they were really getting the idea. We even had a kid carry it over into his individual therapy and talk about how he "compromised" with his sister by sharing the last cookie.
We were beaming with success and so proud of our super smart kiddos.
This week a new girl joined group. My co-therapist says "What do we do when we don't know someone?"
A resounding answer: "Com-pro-mise!"
So much for THAT victory.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Thoughts from Shantaram
I've been reading Shantaram, by Gregory David Roberts. Its quite an impressive book. Its an autobiographical account of his time living in Bombay as an escaped convict from Australia. He is so insightful. He writes with such beauty, some of his simplest descriptions make me want to put the book down and cry. And, always a bonus, he is funny as well. I absolutey recommend this book to anyone who hasn't read it.
I'm only about 100 pages into the 1000 page book, but there's an issue he's already brought up a couple of times that I have been getting stuck on. He describes India graphicly and honestly, making note of some shocking things he witnesses, such as a child slave market. He goes on to discuss his attitude that there are a lot of extremely horrible things in this world, and the only way to make them worse is when someone tries to help, and this seems to be his argument, his excuse, the balm to his conscience as to why he never takes action in any of these situations.
Now, I agree that there are a lot of instances where people are trying, with the purest of hearts, to improve a situation and all they do is screw it up in a myriad of new ways. Especially when you have all these westerners trying to enter different cultures and dominate the relief effort, without taking the time to understand the nuances of the very people they are extending their "aid" toward. Identifying these kinds of situations is, in fact, a big part of the master's program that I am in. Its also a big concern for me, that in my desire to work abroad I may find myself in a job that perpetuates a problem instead of alleviating it. I would quite honestly never ever work abroad than to be in that kind of position, and in fact have lately wondered if I should even puruse international work anymore. My point in all this me-focused rambling is that I do, quite deeply, understand that when there's pain in the world, it is no simple matter of just entering the scene with good intentions, and all becomes well.
But does that mean we shouldn't even try? Everyone should just keep their eyes on the ground, not reach out to other human beings, just because any condition, no matter how bad it is, could always be made worse? That is an awful, lazy, dismissive way of interpreting the world. I'm not saying Roberts could have fixed everything he witnessed, not even close, but damn, he could have at least tried. And maybe he does, later in the book, but I really don't think so.
This issue comes up when he's talking about being taken to a child slave market. He remarks on the starving children, and their ragged clothes, and their palpable fear. Then he frankly admits that he took not a single step to interfere with this process, to inquire about it later, to examine the system and see if there was a way to break it, to crack it, to even get one or two children out. Again, the argument about being a foreigner, about not making things worse, about trying to look at the bright side. The bright side of the situation, as he sees it, is that these kids would have starved to death, or died from disease if their parents had not sold them into the slave market. For every one Indian child that found themselves sold into the slave market, dozens more simply perished. Who is he to say that a life of slavery, of sexual abuse, of being treated as property is better than dying? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, maybe it depends on who you are. But it certainly isn't so simple as to say "in fact, these children are lucky to be slaves, because the only other option for them is death." Targeting death as the very worst possible outcome is in itself a very western attitude.
Interfering in any problem, whether it be micro or macro, always carries with it the possibility of making things worse. Its important to recognize that. But I can not, I will not believe that doing nothing is the best possible option.
I'm only about 100 pages into the 1000 page book, but there's an issue he's already brought up a couple of times that I have been getting stuck on. He describes India graphicly and honestly, making note of some shocking things he witnesses, such as a child slave market. He goes on to discuss his attitude that there are a lot of extremely horrible things in this world, and the only way to make them worse is when someone tries to help, and this seems to be his argument, his excuse, the balm to his conscience as to why he never takes action in any of these situations.
Now, I agree that there are a lot of instances where people are trying, with the purest of hearts, to improve a situation and all they do is screw it up in a myriad of new ways. Especially when you have all these westerners trying to enter different cultures and dominate the relief effort, without taking the time to understand the nuances of the very people they are extending their "aid" toward. Identifying these kinds of situations is, in fact, a big part of the master's program that I am in. Its also a big concern for me, that in my desire to work abroad I may find myself in a job that perpetuates a problem instead of alleviating it. I would quite honestly never ever work abroad than to be in that kind of position, and in fact have lately wondered if I should even puruse international work anymore. My point in all this me-focused rambling is that I do, quite deeply, understand that when there's pain in the world, it is no simple matter of just entering the scene with good intentions, and all becomes well.
But does that mean we shouldn't even try? Everyone should just keep their eyes on the ground, not reach out to other human beings, just because any condition, no matter how bad it is, could always be made worse? That is an awful, lazy, dismissive way of interpreting the world. I'm not saying Roberts could have fixed everything he witnessed, not even close, but damn, he could have at least tried. And maybe he does, later in the book, but I really don't think so.
This issue comes up when he's talking about being taken to a child slave market. He remarks on the starving children, and their ragged clothes, and their palpable fear. Then he frankly admits that he took not a single step to interfere with this process, to inquire about it later, to examine the system and see if there was a way to break it, to crack it, to even get one or two children out. Again, the argument about being a foreigner, about not making things worse, about trying to look at the bright side. The bright side of the situation, as he sees it, is that these kids would have starved to death, or died from disease if their parents had not sold them into the slave market. For every one Indian child that found themselves sold into the slave market, dozens more simply perished. Who is he to say that a life of slavery, of sexual abuse, of being treated as property is better than dying? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, maybe it depends on who you are. But it certainly isn't so simple as to say "in fact, these children are lucky to be slaves, because the only other option for them is death." Targeting death as the very worst possible outcome is in itself a very western attitude.
Interfering in any problem, whether it be micro or macro, always carries with it the possibility of making things worse. Its important to recognize that. But I can not, I will not believe that doing nothing is the best possible option.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Another Snapshot
There is another scene that keeps coming to me over and over when I think about my summer.
Autumn* and I walked to work together, most days.
One morning we were walking and it was particularly windy. Leaves and trash were swirling around everywhere. My eyes were half shut so I wouldn't get dirt in them.
A plastic bag came shooting toward us, pasted itself against Autumn's leg, and stayed there.
"What the fuck!", was her reaction.
Hahahahaha.
As if the wind, or the bag, or even Bosnia had done it on purpose.
*Name not changed to protect her identity.
Autumn* and I walked to work together, most days.
One morning we were walking and it was particularly windy. Leaves and trash were swirling around everywhere. My eyes were half shut so I wouldn't get dirt in them.
A plastic bag came shooting toward us, pasted itself against Autumn's leg, and stayed there.
"What the fuck!", was her reaction.
Hahahahaha.
As if the wind, or the bag, or even Bosnia had done it on purpose.
*Name not changed to protect her identity.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Its the Little Things
I had a GREAT summer. I traveled all over the place, made new friends and visited some cherished old ones, learned a lot of painful things about war and politics, saw a lot of breathtaking scenery, and never once denied myself anything that looked like a pastry. Or like chocolate. Or just anything tasty looking.
One day found me in Northern Ireland, wandering all over Derry County (on the all-inclusive Freedom of Northern Ireland pass, no less) having many adventures and misadventures with my friend Dacia. After a long day we were finally on the train home back into Derry the city and we were sitting across the aisle from a family playing cards.
I'm a card-game geek so I was watching them play, trying to figure out what game it was. Dacia and I sat and stared while father and son both flipped over every single card in their hand until the deck was out. And that was it. Nothing else ever happened in this "game".
"That was it?" I muttered. "What a crap game!"
Dacia, always a little more patient and tolerant than me, replied "Well, sometimes its the little things."
No sooner were those words out of her mouth when we hear the eight year old boy exclaim "What the HELL?!" Apparently he wasn't impressed with this game either.
Dacia was right though. Sometimes it IS the little things. That tiny, insignificant moment in time is one of my favorite memories from this summer, one that makes a laugh bubble up in my chest every time I think of it and I will probably will remember it much longer than a lot of other events from the summer.
One day found me in Northern Ireland, wandering all over Derry County (on the all-inclusive Freedom of Northern Ireland pass, no less) having many adventures and misadventures with my friend Dacia. After a long day we were finally on the train home back into Derry the city and we were sitting across the aisle from a family playing cards.
I'm a card-game geek so I was watching them play, trying to figure out what game it was. Dacia and I sat and stared while father and son both flipped over every single card in their hand until the deck was out. And that was it. Nothing else ever happened in this "game".
"That was it?" I muttered. "What a crap game!"
Dacia, always a little more patient and tolerant than me, replied "Well, sometimes its the little things."
No sooner were those words out of her mouth when we hear the eight year old boy exclaim "What the HELL?!" Apparently he wasn't impressed with this game either.
Dacia was right though. Sometimes it IS the little things. That tiny, insignificant moment in time is one of my favorite memories from this summer, one that makes a laugh bubble up in my chest every time I think of it and I will probably will remember it much longer than a lot of other events from the summer.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Is Being An Idiot the New Black?
I've been considering lately writing something about race or sexual orientation, because these are two subjects that I have been thinking a lot about lately. I hadn't tried an entry yet because I wasn't sure I had anything worthwhile to share, or could express myself in a sensitive way. But last night I heard a dialogue on the radio that shocked and appalled me and now this blog seems like as good a medium as any for me to respond to what I heard. I am aware that I am still taking a risk in speaking for a population that I'm not a part of. If anyone reads this and finds me to be just another obnoxious, clueless straight person then please, feel free to comment and tell me so.
There is an evening dj that I often listen to when I'm driving places late in the day. I already know that she gets on the nerves of several of my friends, but I always kind of liked her. Last night, however, I think she lost one more listener.
Her topic for the evening was "Is being a lesbian the new black?". She listed a bunch of female celebrities who had recently, or are currently, dating women and kept referring to them as having "been lesbian", "gone lesbian" or "used to be lesbian", over and over. Her language alone pissed me off. First of all, if someone dated a woman but is dating a man now, they never were a lesbian to begin with. If you're going to spend all evening labeling people and putting them in boxes, maybe you should understand what the hell the labels mean to begin with.
Second of all, the entire idea that being a lesbian is for anyone simply a "fad" to go through is extremely offensive, ignorant and insensitive. Being a lesbian is not a reality that people undergo lightly; coming out of the closet takes a lot more courage and foresight than simply "is this the popular thing to do right now"? Also, the idea that people could wear a lesbian identity just for public relations reasons undermines the struggles of real people in the queer community who fight every day to try to be themselves.
Additionally, the dj and the people calling in kept asserting that it was easier in today's society to be a lesbian than to be gay. O RLY? You see that Lindsay Lohan dated a girl and that Ellen DeGeneres got married and now it's "easy" to be a lesbian? Obviously I take issue at any indication that being non-hetero is easy, but to also say that being a lesbian is more accepted than being gay is just the MOST ridiculous thing I have heard. Let's just look at Denver alone. There are gay bars, clubs, strip clubs, neighborhoods and parks. The les community has a couple of bars and...oh wait, that's it. One of the gay clubs designates one night a month as les night, but that's it. If you're a lesbian and want to go dancing among other lesbians, you better get out that one night because otherwise you have to wait 5 more weeks to do so. And do you see lesbians in the media ever except for when its two hot famous women making out? The gay community has "Brokeback" and "Milk". What do the lesbians have? (Disclaimer: I am certainly not saying that no one should ever make another movie with gay characters just because there are 2 out there.)
Essentially, it was really frustrating to hear so many people taking so lightly an issue which affects a lot of people around me. I suppose its a relief that at least no one called in damning queers or being intentionally cruel. Still, the ignorance of people, especially on this topic area, continues to astound me. I wish I could be more articulate about the entire issue but I'm having trouble siphoning my irritation into effective communication.
Please, people, can't we just evolve a little bit?
There is an evening dj that I often listen to when I'm driving places late in the day. I already know that she gets on the nerves of several of my friends, but I always kind of liked her. Last night, however, I think she lost one more listener.
Her topic for the evening was "Is being a lesbian the new black?". She listed a bunch of female celebrities who had recently, or are currently, dating women and kept referring to them as having "been lesbian", "gone lesbian" or "used to be lesbian", over and over. Her language alone pissed me off. First of all, if someone dated a woman but is dating a man now, they never were a lesbian to begin with. If you're going to spend all evening labeling people and putting them in boxes, maybe you should understand what the hell the labels mean to begin with.
Second of all, the entire idea that being a lesbian is for anyone simply a "fad" to go through is extremely offensive, ignorant and insensitive. Being a lesbian is not a reality that people undergo lightly; coming out of the closet takes a lot more courage and foresight than simply "is this the popular thing to do right now"? Also, the idea that people could wear a lesbian identity just for public relations reasons undermines the struggles of real people in the queer community who fight every day to try to be themselves.
Additionally, the dj and the people calling in kept asserting that it was easier in today's society to be a lesbian than to be gay. O RLY? You see that Lindsay Lohan dated a girl and that Ellen DeGeneres got married and now it's "easy" to be a lesbian? Obviously I take issue at any indication that being non-hetero is easy, but to also say that being a lesbian is more accepted than being gay is just the MOST ridiculous thing I have heard. Let's just look at Denver alone. There are gay bars, clubs, strip clubs, neighborhoods and parks. The les community has a couple of bars and...oh wait, that's it. One of the gay clubs designates one night a month as les night, but that's it. If you're a lesbian and want to go dancing among other lesbians, you better get out that one night because otherwise you have to wait 5 more weeks to do so. And do you see lesbians in the media ever except for when its two hot famous women making out? The gay community has "Brokeback" and "Milk". What do the lesbians have? (Disclaimer: I am certainly not saying that no one should ever make another movie with gay characters just because there are 2 out there.)
Essentially, it was really frustrating to hear so many people taking so lightly an issue which affects a lot of people around me. I suppose its a relief that at least no one called in damning queers or being intentionally cruel. Still, the ignorance of people, especially on this topic area, continues to astound me. I wish I could be more articulate about the entire issue but I'm having trouble siphoning my irritation into effective communication.
Please, people, can't we just evolve a little bit?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Worth Sharing
Overheard outside the bar, by my friend Kim:
Girl 1: I am so horny that I'm about to just start humping.
Girl 2: I want my jacket back.
Girl 1: I am so horny that I'm about to just start humping.
Girl 2: I want my jacket back.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Some observations
I tend to be a pretty unobservant person. How many friends do I have that started wearing glasses and about a year later I come along with "Heyyy, you got glasses!"? Or got their hair cut? Or moved and all I did was vaguely wonder why I hadn't seen them in awhile? Still, I do sometimes notice stuff. Some of its even worth sharing.
(Well, maybe its not worth sharing, but I feel like writing about it, that's the whole point of this blog, so I can write about whatever I feel like.)
Ok, Observation 1:
I noticed recently that when I say "please" what I really mean is "do it now", or probably even "do it now, i just dare you not to". I wonder if that's the case for other people too? If you are reading this and we are friends, please forget this immediately, so that you don't think I'm an asshole the next time we hang out.
Observation 2
Technology makes me dumber. One day my automatic car unlock button wasn't working on my keychain. I thought "Oh my god, I can't get into my car!!". It was a very real moment of panic. I almost called my dad. I'm relieved to report that I figured out what "keys" are for before that happened.
Facebook has made me forget that if I have friends with whom I want to catch up, I can actually e-mail them and find out, instead of waiting around to see if they post an informative status, from which I can gather my own conclusions about their life.
Technology makes my friends dumber too. Those of my friends with GPS units in their cars are without a doubt the worst people ever at finding where they are going. I take it as a personal offence when I'm in the car with them and they try to use it, and I insist on giving them directions personally. What always happens is something like this: Me, "Turn up here at this light." Them, "Which way?"...frustrated pause..."As you may have noticed as we passed the street we were supposed to turn on, it is a one way street."
But do they suck at driving because they have GPS units, or do they have GPS units because they suck at driving?
Observation 3
Living alone makes me loony. I still love my tiny little apartment, and my solitude, but I have started to talk to myself. A trait that I have always classified with people who are either 1)so incredibly brilliant that sometimes some of their thoughts spill out of their brains or 2)wack jobs. I know I have a pretty average intelligence so...yeah. The other day I spilled milk all over my counter and I actually muttered aloud "Oh, good Ab." Every day when I go to work I have to pay for my parking at an automated stand. Last week when it told me to "Have a Nice Day", I actually said "You too." Sigh.
Observation 4
Hah, yeah right, like I have actually noticed enough stuff to fill out four of these.
(Well, maybe its not worth sharing, but I feel like writing about it, that's the whole point of this blog, so I can write about whatever I feel like.)
Ok, Observation 1:
I noticed recently that when I say "please" what I really mean is "do it now", or probably even "do it now, i just dare you not to". I wonder if that's the case for other people too? If you are reading this and we are friends, please forget this immediately, so that you don't think I'm an asshole the next time we hang out.
Observation 2
Technology makes me dumber. One day my automatic car unlock button wasn't working on my keychain. I thought "Oh my god, I can't get into my car!!". It was a very real moment of panic. I almost called my dad. I'm relieved to report that I figured out what "keys" are for before that happened.
Facebook has made me forget that if I have friends with whom I want to catch up, I can actually e-mail them and find out, instead of waiting around to see if they post an informative status, from which I can gather my own conclusions about their life.
Technology makes my friends dumber too. Those of my friends with GPS units in their cars are without a doubt the worst people ever at finding where they are going. I take it as a personal offence when I'm in the car with them and they try to use it, and I insist on giving them directions personally. What always happens is something like this: Me, "Turn up here at this light." Them, "Which way?"...frustrated pause..."As you may have noticed as we passed the street we were supposed to turn on, it is a one way street."
But do they suck at driving because they have GPS units, or do they have GPS units because they suck at driving?
Observation 3
Living alone makes me loony. I still love my tiny little apartment, and my solitude, but I have started to talk to myself. A trait that I have always classified with people who are either 1)so incredibly brilliant that sometimes some of their thoughts spill out of their brains or 2)wack jobs. I know I have a pretty average intelligence so...yeah. The other day I spilled milk all over my counter and I actually muttered aloud "Oh, good Ab." Every day when I go to work I have to pay for my parking at an automated stand. Last week when it told me to "Have a Nice Day", I actually said "You too." Sigh.
Observation 4
Hah, yeah right, like I have actually noticed enough stuff to fill out four of these.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wish Me Luck
I've been having kind of a rough week. I figured that if I could get through today without crying, snotting any of my allergies onto another person, or disappointing my boss (I do that a lot) that I should be ok and things will start to look up.
Then this morning I arrived at work and realized I had not eaten breakfast, nor brought anything with me that could serve as such. I went to the (awesome, independent, delicious) coffee shop nearby and as I was waiting for my drink I noticed a Magic 8 ball on the counter.
"Magic 8 ball, will I survive this day?"
"Better not tell you now"
Crap.
Then this morning I arrived at work and realized I had not eaten breakfast, nor brought anything with me that could serve as such. I went to the (awesome, independent, delicious) coffee shop nearby and as I was waiting for my drink I noticed a Magic 8 ball on the counter.
"Magic 8 ball, will I survive this day?"
"Better not tell you now"
Crap.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Congratulations, AIG...
...you have achieved what no one else has ever been able to do before!!
Finally, the democrats and republicans agree!
The AIG move to award their CEOs with several million dollar bonuses, AFTER getting bailed out for sucking at running their company, is so greedy and shameless that even republicans are outraged. The news today is plastered with quotes from both political parties, everyone using words like "reckless", "greedy" and "resign".
An even rarer event, a republican finally said something that I not only laughed out loud at hearing, but actually agree with:
Senator Charles Grassley, R-Iowa: I would suggest the
first thing that would make me feel a little bit better
toward them [is] if they'd follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep
bow and say, I'm sorry, and then either do one of two
things: resign or go commit suicide.
Man, that's harsh. I'm not actually advocating for anyone to die, but AIG is going to have a world of shit flying toward it soon, and deservingly so. Is there anyone who doesn't want to see some heads roll?
Finally, the democrats and republicans agree!
The AIG move to award their CEOs with several million dollar bonuses, AFTER getting bailed out for sucking at running their company, is so greedy and shameless that even republicans are outraged. The news today is plastered with quotes from both political parties, everyone using words like "reckless", "greedy" and "resign".
An even rarer event, a republican finally said something that I not only laughed out loud at hearing, but actually agree with:
Senator Charles Grassley, R-Iowa: I would suggest the
first thing that would make me feel a little bit better
toward them [is] if they'd follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep
bow and say, I'm sorry, and then either do one of two
things: resign or go commit suicide.
Man, that's harsh. I'm not actually advocating for anyone to die, but AIG is going to have a world of shit flying toward it soon, and deservingly so. Is there anyone who doesn't want to see some heads roll?
Friday, February 13, 2009
Words Psychology Grad Students Love to Use
I wonder if a psych grad program would be complete without lots and lots of class discussion? We may never know. In ours, we are always sure to discuss the bejesus out of everything. Two terms into this program, I have noticed that there are some words that always always get said by someone. And most of the time, it sounds like that person is just forming a sentence around the word, relevant or not, so they can get it in before, god forbid we move on to something else.
Some of these words are:
Dichotomy, as in "There is a dichotomy between your vocabulary and your actual intelligence. I can tell, because the only advanced word you ever use is dichotomy."
Psychosocial, as in "Abbie is going to need a psychosocial intervention soon because you are all driving her totally crazy with your irrelevant drivel."
Caveat, as in "A caveat to joining the IDP program: you will forget what men look like and having one even accidentally enter the room during class will become the pinnacle of excitement."
Vocab that is used less often, but makes the sayer sound like an asshole every time:
SES, as in Socio-economic-status, usually said with the word "lower". Saying poor people have a "low SES" makes you sound even more like a pretentious bastard, FYI.
"My dad says", We are in grad school, not fifth grade. If you can't defend your opinion without citing your father, then maybe you should just shut the fuck up. The worst part is that more than one person in my program does this. All the time. And, of course, we all know that MY dad is smarter and tougher and stronger and bad assier than all their dads combined.
"From the Zionist perspective..." , self explanatory.
I could go on and on, but I should probably stop here before I work myself into a fit. Also, I've been at work for 2 hours and have accomplished nothing besides this blog and some gmail chatting so....
The End
Some of these words are:
Dichotomy, as in "There is a dichotomy between your vocabulary and your actual intelligence. I can tell, because the only advanced word you ever use is dichotomy."
Psychosocial, as in "Abbie is going to need a psychosocial intervention soon because you are all driving her totally crazy with your irrelevant drivel."
Caveat, as in "A caveat to joining the IDP program: you will forget what men look like and having one even accidentally enter the room during class will become the pinnacle of excitement."
Vocab that is used less often, but makes the sayer sound like an asshole every time:
SES, as in Socio-economic-status, usually said with the word "lower". Saying poor people have a "low SES" makes you sound even more like a pretentious bastard, FYI.
"My dad says", We are in grad school, not fifth grade. If you can't defend your opinion without citing your father, then maybe you should just shut the fuck up. The worst part is that more than one person in my program does this. All the time. And, of course, we all know that MY dad is smarter and tougher and stronger and bad assier than all their dads combined.
"From the Zionist perspective..." , self explanatory.
I could go on and on, but I should probably stop here before I work myself into a fit. Also, I've been at work for 2 hours and have accomplished nothing besides this blog and some gmail chatting so....
The End
Monday, January 26, 2009
Thanking the Universe Just Feels So Impersonal
I have never mourned the absence of religion in my life. But sometimes when something amazing happens I am left without a direction to send my gratitude towards.
I spent the weekend in San Diego and my flight home last night was delayed. This meant that I was arriving to my car at the airport at 12:30am, in freezing cold weather and snow falling thickly and steadily. I was on my way to get onto I-70 when my pathetic excuse for a car stalled out on me. In my frustration and panic, I pulled over to the left instead of the right, so instead of sitting on the shoulder, I was stuck in the middle of a road with surprisingly heave traffic flow, considering it was the middle of the gd night. I waited a couple minutes before trying to start the car again, and of course it didn't work.
I nearly started crying before I remembered that I was an adult, not a 16 year old clueless new driver, and I had my trusty AAA card with me. Also, I was wearing 4 thick layers and was more in danger of suffocating than freezing to death. I got my card out and just as I was reaching for my phone to call for a tow, something happened that restored my disappearing faith in humanity in general, and men specifically. (When you're in a program like mine, its hard to maintain the attitude that people are inherently good. And if you are unclear on my frustrations toward men, refer to my earlier post re: assholes).
Someone knocked on my window and I looked up to see a guy in a mechanic uniform pointing in front of my car, where he had parked his tow truck without my noticing him. I told him the problem and he was very friendly and didn't act at all like I was a brainless twit, even though I bet that's what he really thought. I told him he was welcome to try to start my car if he liked. And of course, even though I had tried to start it to no avail, as soon as he climbed in and turned the key it revved up like some new model right off the lot. Embarrassed but greatly relieved, I thanked him profusely and got back in and started back on my journey home.
But to add to my feelings of incompetence, my hazard light button had frozen so I couldn't turn them off. My best bet was to pretend it was on purpose so I stayed in the right lane and tried to drive slower than other people, so they might think I was being a careful driver, instead of a dumbass. About 10 minutes later my car finally warmed up enough that I could turn them off, at which point a truck behind me sped up and passed me. It was the tow truck driver. Not only had he saved me in the middle of the night and in the middle of the road but he had stayed behind me and made sure I was really ok before going on with his own business.
That was so god damn nice of him, and I was too flustered to even note the name on his uniform, or the name of his company! I remember thinking to myself Thank you god, for sending him to me. And then I was like "hold on mate, you don't believe in god" and then I went back to my standard thanking the universe in general when something lovely happened (I also blame the universe when something shitty happens--what was that 8 year Bush Administration thing about, UNIVERSE??) but it didn't feel quite as satisfying. I wish I could thank the actual tow truck guy.
Thanks, guy who saved me. I hope you get some sweet sweet karma coming your way soon.
I spent the weekend in San Diego and my flight home last night was delayed. This meant that I was arriving to my car at the airport at 12:30am, in freezing cold weather and snow falling thickly and steadily. I was on my way to get onto I-70 when my pathetic excuse for a car stalled out on me. In my frustration and panic, I pulled over to the left instead of the right, so instead of sitting on the shoulder, I was stuck in the middle of a road with surprisingly heave traffic flow, considering it was the middle of the gd night. I waited a couple minutes before trying to start the car again, and of course it didn't work.
I nearly started crying before I remembered that I was an adult, not a 16 year old clueless new driver, and I had my trusty AAA card with me. Also, I was wearing 4 thick layers and was more in danger of suffocating than freezing to death. I got my card out and just as I was reaching for my phone to call for a tow, something happened that restored my disappearing faith in humanity in general, and men specifically. (When you're in a program like mine, its hard to maintain the attitude that people are inherently good. And if you are unclear on my frustrations toward men, refer to my earlier post re: assholes).
Someone knocked on my window and I looked up to see a guy in a mechanic uniform pointing in front of my car, where he had parked his tow truck without my noticing him. I told him the problem and he was very friendly and didn't act at all like I was a brainless twit, even though I bet that's what he really thought. I told him he was welcome to try to start my car if he liked. And of course, even though I had tried to start it to no avail, as soon as he climbed in and turned the key it revved up like some new model right off the lot. Embarrassed but greatly relieved, I thanked him profusely and got back in and started back on my journey home.
But to add to my feelings of incompetence, my hazard light button had frozen so I couldn't turn them off. My best bet was to pretend it was on purpose so I stayed in the right lane and tried to drive slower than other people, so they might think I was being a careful driver, instead of a dumbass. About 10 minutes later my car finally warmed up enough that I could turn them off, at which point a truck behind me sped up and passed me. It was the tow truck driver. Not only had he saved me in the middle of the night and in the middle of the road but he had stayed behind me and made sure I was really ok before going on with his own business.
That was so god damn nice of him, and I was too flustered to even note the name on his uniform, or the name of his company! I remember thinking to myself Thank you god, for sending him to me. And then I was like "hold on mate, you don't believe in god" and then I went back to my standard thanking the universe in general when something lovely happened (I also blame the universe when something shitty happens--what was that 8 year Bush Administration thing about, UNIVERSE??) but it didn't feel quite as satisfying. I wish I could thank the actual tow truck guy.
Thanks, guy who saved me. I hope you get some sweet sweet karma coming your way soon.
Monday, January 12, 2009
A Small Voice
I wrote a note on facebook this morning because I wanted to frame an editorial I was posting that my dad wrote. Out came some anguish I've been carrying for the past few weeks and now I feel compelled to post it on my blog as well.
My thoughts on this subject are short but concise. Confused but heartfelt. Posted below my comments is the editorial my dad wrote.
This article doesn't even begin to go into the unfathomable treatment of the Palestinians at the hands of the Israelis. I have spent the last couple of months reading about the Holocaust and the fact that a people who claim the worst genocide in history could turn around and subject another people to decades of oppression baffles me to no end. I ache and ache for the Palestinians, and hope with all my heart that this "conflict" will be over soon. But I also hurt for the Jewish people of Israel, who have become so twisted and fierce as to believe that something constructive might come of their blowing other people all to hell. How do they not see the parallels between them and the Nazis? How is useless killing ever different, ever honorable and right, no matter what guise it is under?
http://www.dailycamera.com/news/2009/jan/06/going-blind-in-gaza/
My thoughts on this subject are short but concise. Confused but heartfelt. Posted below my comments is the editorial my dad wrote.
This article doesn't even begin to go into the unfathomable treatment of the Palestinians at the hands of the Israelis. I have spent the last couple of months reading about the Holocaust and the fact that a people who claim the worst genocide in history could turn around and subject another people to decades of oppression baffles me to no end. I ache and ache for the Palestinians, and hope with all my heart that this "conflict" will be over soon. But I also hurt for the Jewish people of Israel, who have become so twisted and fierce as to believe that something constructive might come of their blowing other people all to hell. How do they not see the parallels between them and the Nazis? How is useless killing ever different, ever honorable and right, no matter what guise it is under?
http://www.dailycamera.com/news/2009/jan/06/going-blind-in-gaza/
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