Is Being An Idiot the New Black?

I've been considering lately writing something about race or sexual orientation, because these are two subjects that I have been thinking a lot about lately. I hadn't tried an entry yet because I wasn't sure I had anything worthwhile to share, or could express myself in a sensitive way. But last night I heard a dialogue on the radio that shocked and appalled me and now this blog seems like as good a medium as any for me to respond to what I heard. I am aware that I am still taking a risk in speaking for a population that I'm not a part of. If anyone reads this and finds me to be just another obnoxious, clueless straight person then please, feel free to comment and tell me so.

There is an evening dj that I often listen to when I'm driving places late in the day. I already know that she gets on the nerves of several of my friends, but I always kind of liked her. Last night, however, I think she lost one more listener.

Her topic for the evening was "Is being a lesbian the new black?". She listed a bunch of female celebrities who had recently, or are currently, dating women and kept referring to them as having "been lesbian", "gone lesbian" or "used to be lesbian", over and over. Her language alone pissed me off. First of all, if someone dated a woman but is dating a man now, they never were a lesbian to begin with. If you're going to spend all evening labeling people and putting them in boxes, maybe you should understand what the hell the labels mean to begin with.

Second of all, the entire idea that being a lesbian is for anyone simply a "fad" to go through is extremely offensive, ignorant and insensitive. Being a lesbian is not a reality that people undergo lightly; coming out of the closet takes a lot more courage and foresight than simply "is this the popular thing to do right now"? Also, the idea that people could wear a lesbian identity just for public relations reasons undermines the struggles of real people in the queer community who fight every day to try to be themselves.

Additionally, the dj and the people calling in kept asserting that it was easier in today's society to be a lesbian than to be gay. O RLY? You see that Lindsay Lohan dated a girl and that Ellen DeGeneres got married and now it's "easy" to be a lesbian? Obviously I take issue at any indication that being non-hetero is easy, but to also say that being a lesbian is more accepted than being gay is just the MOST ridiculous thing I have heard. Let's just look at Denver alone. There are gay bars, clubs, strip clubs, neighborhoods and parks. The les community has a couple of bars and...oh wait, that's it. One of the gay clubs designates one night a month as les night, but that's it. If you're a lesbian and want to go dancing among other lesbians, you better get out that one night because otherwise you have to wait 5 more weeks to do so. And do you see lesbians in the media ever except for when its two hot famous women making out? The gay community has "Brokeback" and "Milk". What do the lesbians have? (Disclaimer: I am certainly not saying that no one should ever make another movie with gay characters just because there are 2 out there.)

Essentially, it was really frustrating to hear so many people taking so lightly an issue which affects a lot of people around me. I suppose its a relief that at least no one called in damning queers or being intentionally cruel. Still, the ignorance of people, especially on this topic area, continues to astound me. I wish I could be more articulate about the entire issue but I'm having trouble siphoning my irritation into effective communication.

Please, people, can't we just evolve a little bit?