Is Being An Idiot the New Black?

I've been considering lately writing something about race or sexual orientation, because these are two subjects that I have been thinking a lot about lately. I hadn't tried an entry yet because I wasn't sure I had anything worthwhile to share, or could express myself in a sensitive way. But last night I heard a dialogue on the radio that shocked and appalled me and now this blog seems like as good a medium as any for me to respond to what I heard. I am aware that I am still taking a risk in speaking for a population that I'm not a part of. If anyone reads this and finds me to be just another obnoxious, clueless straight person then please, feel free to comment and tell me so.

There is an evening dj that I often listen to when I'm driving places late in the day. I already know that she gets on the nerves of several of my friends, but I always kind of liked her. Last night, however, I think she lost one more listener.

Her topic for the evening was "Is being a lesbian the new black?". She listed a bunch of female celebrities who had recently, or are currently, dating women and kept referring to them as having "been lesbian", "gone lesbian" or "used to be lesbian", over and over. Her language alone pissed me off. First of all, if someone dated a woman but is dating a man now, they never were a lesbian to begin with. If you're going to spend all evening labeling people and putting them in boxes, maybe you should understand what the hell the labels mean to begin with.

Second of all, the entire idea that being a lesbian is for anyone simply a "fad" to go through is extremely offensive, ignorant and insensitive. Being a lesbian is not a reality that people undergo lightly; coming out of the closet takes a lot more courage and foresight than simply "is this the popular thing to do right now"? Also, the idea that people could wear a lesbian identity just for public relations reasons undermines the struggles of real people in the queer community who fight every day to try to be themselves.

Additionally, the dj and the people calling in kept asserting that it was easier in today's society to be a lesbian than to be gay. O RLY? You see that Lindsay Lohan dated a girl and that Ellen DeGeneres got married and now it's "easy" to be a lesbian? Obviously I take issue at any indication that being non-hetero is easy, but to also say that being a lesbian is more accepted than being gay is just the MOST ridiculous thing I have heard. Let's just look at Denver alone. There are gay bars, clubs, strip clubs, neighborhoods and parks. The les community has a couple of bars and...oh wait, that's it. One of the gay clubs designates one night a month as les night, but that's it. If you're a lesbian and want to go dancing among other lesbians, you better get out that one night because otherwise you have to wait 5 more weeks to do so. And do you see lesbians in the media ever except for when its two hot famous women making out? The gay community has "Brokeback" and "Milk". What do the lesbians have? (Disclaimer: I am certainly not saying that no one should ever make another movie with gay characters just because there are 2 out there.)

Essentially, it was really frustrating to hear so many people taking so lightly an issue which affects a lot of people around me. I suppose its a relief that at least no one called in damning queers or being intentionally cruel. Still, the ignorance of people, especially on this topic area, continues to astound me. I wish I could be more articulate about the entire issue but I'm having trouble siphoning my irritation into effective communication.

Please, people, can't we just evolve a little bit?

Worth Sharing

Overheard outside the bar, by my friend Kim:

Girl 1: I am so horny that I'm about to just start humping.

Girl 2: I want my jacket back.

Some observations

I tend to be a pretty unobservant person. How many friends do I have that started wearing glasses and about a year later I come along with "Heyyy, you got glasses!"? Or got their hair cut? Or moved and all I did was vaguely wonder why I hadn't seen them in awhile? Still, I do sometimes notice stuff. Some of its even worth sharing.

(Well, maybe its not worth sharing, but I feel like writing about it, that's the whole point of this blog, so I can write about whatever I feel like.)

Ok, Observation 1:
I noticed recently that when I say "please" what I really mean is "do it now", or probably even "do it now, i just dare you not to". I wonder if that's the case for other people too? If you are reading this and we are friends, please forget this immediately, so that you don't think I'm an asshole the next time we hang out.

Observation 2
Technology makes me dumber. One day my automatic car unlock button wasn't working on my keychain. I thought "Oh my god, I can't get into my car!!". It was a very real moment of panic. I almost called my dad. I'm relieved to report that I figured out what "keys" are for before that happened.

Facebook has made me forget that if I have friends with whom I want to catch up, I can actually e-mail them and find out, instead of waiting around to see if they post an informative status, from which I can gather my own conclusions about their life.

Technology makes my friends dumber too. Those of my friends with GPS units in their cars are without a doubt the worst people ever at finding where they are going. I take it as a personal offence when I'm in the car with them and they try to use it, and I insist on giving them directions personally. What always happens is something like this: Me, "Turn up here at this light." Them, "Which way?"...frustrated pause..."As you may have noticed as we passed the street we were supposed to turn on, it is a one way street."

But do they suck at driving because they have GPS units, or do they have GPS units because they suck at driving?

Observation 3
Living alone makes me loony. I still love my tiny little apartment, and my solitude, but I have started to talk to myself. A trait that I have always classified with people who are either 1)so incredibly brilliant that sometimes some of their thoughts spill out of their brains or 2)wack jobs. I know I have a pretty average intelligence so...yeah. The other day I spilled milk all over my counter and I actually muttered aloud "Oh, good Ab." Every day when I go to work I have to pay for my parking at an automated stand. Last week when it told me to "Have a Nice Day", I actually said "You too." Sigh.

Observation 4
Hah, yeah right, like I have actually noticed enough stuff to fill out four of these.

Wish Me Luck

I've been having kind of a rough week. I figured that if I could get through today without crying, snotting any of my allergies onto another person, or disappointing my boss (I do that a lot) that I should be ok and things will start to look up.

Then this morning I arrived at work and realized I had not eaten breakfast, nor brought anything with me that could serve as such. I went to the (awesome, independent, delicious) coffee shop nearby and as I was waiting for my drink I noticed a Magic 8 ball on the counter.

"Magic 8 ball, will I survive this day?"

"Better not tell you now"






Crap.