One for the Ages

I recently stumbled upon all these blogs written by single women across the country, chronicling their mostly terrible dates and thoughts on being single. Its been a comfort to know that there are women--women my age!!--who are still single, and struggling with the same things I am. Doubts about our own worth (is it something horrifying about me that makes me unable to find a partner), doubts about the need to be in a relationship (is it me or society that thinks I even need a partner), doubts about the guys we date (is this moron really my only option for a partner?). Most of these women seem smart, funny, independent and lively. If they are still single, then maybe it is not something so inherently monstrous about me that has me single as well.

The blogs remind me that at one point I had considered making this blog about my own single life. At the time I thought that was an original idea (ha!) but I didn't follow through with it for 2 reasons. 1) I don't, in fact, relish the idea of my love life being one big joke and 2)...not enough dating stories to compile a blog!

My blogging sisters found a way to deal with the second problem--online dating. Ugh. I am so not ready to do that again. When I think of online dating again, the words that pop into my head are like "hell", "torture"..."agony." I seriously, seriously hated it. That was 3 years ago and I'm still, like...have PTSD about it. I was hoping to never ever online date again. I am still far far away from wanting to, but I have noticed this one problem.

One of my biggest complaints about finding someone to date is the problem of age. I can constantly be heard bitching about the fact that all the non-retarded guys that are age-appropriate for me are already in relationships. Despite all my whining about this, I have been hoping that maybe I just don't know where to find them. But the last few weeks have me feeling more than ever that this is an actual, serious problem.

A month ago, I broke it off with a 34-year old. Just to clarify, I DO consider this age appropriate. Too bad it turns out there were some pretty solid reasons why he's 34 and not already married to someone else. Anyway. Since then, I have been pursued by a 25 year old...which, before I met him, I also would have considered age appropriate. But the more we texted, the less attractive he became. He did things like spell it "definnately", "good mourning" and "four play" and I was astounded by what a complete and total dumbass he was. Maybe its not fair to blame his stupidity on his age, but that's how I saw it. Things with him are currently on hold, although most like "on hold" will turn into never talking to him again.

Last weekend I got asked out by a 24-year old. (I refused. If 25 is too young, 24 is obviously not going to work either).

AND THEN, last night I met a guy. This was an interesting episode, let me just paint the picture for you. I play tons of volleyball, and evidently a couple of weeks ago someone had seen me at a league night talking to a mutual friend and had wanted to meet me. Not knowing this, I had left early as I was sick. Said mutual friend informed me that his hot friend was interested so I had better get my ass to the court this week (said friend is gay, so his use of the word "hot" is trusted-but he's also bossy). So, I get to the volleyball courts, I meet the guy, who is indeed hot, we play volleyball--he's an amazing player, which for me makes him extra, super hot--and although I can't say a shooting star was born with our union, he seemed cool. Judging by his looks, I had him figured for my age or maybe a couple years older.

Well, I did some Facebook stalking today. The guy is 22. 22!!! Holy hell!! What the fuck! At the speed they are getting younger these days, but next month I will be some freshman high schooler's homecoming date. 22, good lord.

This has caused me to reflect--I do, in fact, meet guys all the time. But they are either so young or in their 40s. What if online dating truly is the only way to meet single guys that are my age? Which of the three options do I prefer? Staying single for all eterntity (seems most likely), dating guys that are either children or fathers, or wading back into the online dating pool...

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh.